。。。

30到底是剩斗士, 必剩客还是齐天大圣我也记不清了。 做为大家眼中的大龄剩女,我觉得这些头衔挺好玩儿的。 但是在心里俺不会用“剩”定义自己。剩是被筛选过被留下的, 我觉得我只是缘分未到。 毕竟认识个对的人不容易。 大部份人都困惑为啥俺至今还单身, 俺也挺困惑。 我觉得应该跟我偏内向的性格,还有在感情方面比较晚熟有关系吧。 23岁才开始慢慢认识男生, 26岁才有了第一段感情。

有些人可能会认为我很挑, 但是我想说其实我只是比较谨慎。 我希望我携手的那个他是可以一辈子。 我自认为没有公主病, 不是所谓的拜金女, 也不会无理取闹。 想找的只是个志同道合,性格合拍,可以互相迁就,共同努力创造美好生活的他。

大家都说矽谷男工程师多得是, 怎么会遇不到。 其实我想有一大部分男工程师也和我一样比较内向吧。 我比较怕参加社交活动, 所以认识新朋友对我来说比较难。 当然我不会拿内向当借口, 正在努力突破自己。 我不想成为交际花, 但是希望可以大方自然得应对不同的场合。

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on giving the right apology..

i have so many blog entries to post…. XD … a lot of them is just sitting as draft or topic on my laptop…

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guys a lot of times feel obligated to apologize.. but i think you have to apologize for the right reasons.. It’s nice if guys own up to it, be the bigger person, and always initiate the apology. but i think it doesn’t hurt for either man or woman to apologize first, as long as you’re earnest and not just trying to gloss over the issue, and use it as a quick fix.
there is no need to apologize and take responsibility for the whole incident.. but apologize for what you could have done better to prevent the conflict.. for example… apologize for saying something you didn’t mean, and hurting another person’s feelings. and the other party likewise apologize for what they could have done better. accusations and labeling is bad… i believe no one meant to be malicious in a relationship, a lot of times it’s caused by miscommunication or differences in values and priorities. if it’s bad communication you’d need to talk to get to an understanding. if it’s differences in values and priorities, then need to get each other to understand not necessarily agree but understand the differences, and talk about mitigation plan. if there are ways to live w/ the diff value, or some way to meet half way, then great. if not, probably time to reconsider the relationship… otherwise the same issue is going to come up over and over again and magnified bigger every time.

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favors

I don’t understand why when people ask others for favors, it can be so mindless…

i think when you try asking for favors it’s only when you can absolutely handle it yourself, and you try to make it as easy as possible for the person helping you right?

for example from a friend’s situation. she was asked to give someone a ride to the airport. If i were that person, i would have considered taxi, public transportation, parking at airport above asking friend to give me a ride.  if all of those are absolutely out of my budget and reason, then i’d consider asking family or friend. but even then i’d make it as easy as possible for them. i.e. find someone who lives close to me, try to drive to their place. but this person in the example i gave above asked the friend to drive all over the bay to pick up things, cook her dinner.  I have similar stories too, but won’t list them here.

Maybe I’m the weird one here? maybe friendship is about helping each other out. i mean… after all it really is no big deal to spend a day to make life easier for another friend. maybe that’s why my life is so difficult… because i’m trying to just take everything on myself… but i don’t want to make my life easier on the expense of making someone else’s life difficult. so what’s the trade off here? if my life is easier by 100% and other people’s life more difficult by 5%, maybe it’s a valid request for favor?

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English words with Chinese Origin

Although there are not many…. it always surprises me to discover English words with Chinese origin. There are common words like tofu, kungfu, tai chi, zen, dim sum and other chinese foods…. but did you know Also the following?

Gung-ho

this one really caught me by surprise… I’ve heard it many times, although it sounds weird, I never realized the closeness in spelling to other English enunciation of Chinese words. The origin of this is quite unique as well, not sure how it ever made it into the official English dictionary….

siting wikipedia

“Gung ho is an anglicised pronunciation of “gōng hé” (), which is also sometimes anglicised as “kung ho”. “Gōng hé” is a shortened version and slogan of the “gōngyè hézuòshè” () or Chinese Industrial Cooperatives, which was abbreviated as INDUSCO in English. …. In Chinese, concludes Moe, “this is neither a slogan nor a battle cry; it is only a name for an organization.”[1] The term was picked up by United States Marine Corps Major Evans Carlson from his New Zealand friend, Rewi Alley, one of the founders of the Chinese Industrial Cooperatives. Carlson explained in a 1943 interview: “I was trying to build up the same sort of working spirit I had seen in China where all the soldiers dedicated themselves to one idea and worked together to put that idea over. I told the boys about it again and again. I told them of the motto of the Chinese Cooperatives, Gung Ho. It means Work Together-Work in Harmony….”[2]

…. it spread throughout the U.S. Marine Corps  ….. and into American society as a whole when the phrase became the title of a 1943 war filmGung Ho!

Ketchup

I never thought Ketchup originated from China… because it’s such an western thing… when you hear ketchup you think french fries…. but who knew… there are several version of the orignation.. i will go with this once since it makes the most sense…

‘An alternative Chinese theory expounded in certain dictionaries[16] states that the word “ketchup” derives from a Chinese word composed of two characters (茄汁Cantonese (Jyutping): ke2 zap1, Hakka: kyo jip, Minnan/SouthernHokkien: ga1 zap7, Teochew: giê5 zab4/kiê5 tsap4, corresponding to Mandarin (Pinyin) qie zhī) based on Southern Chinese dialects, which means “tomato sauce.” ‘

No Can Do

Mandarin Chinese 不可以 (bù kěyǐ)

Brainwash

“A calque of Chinese 洗腦 xǐ nǎo (where 洗 literally means “wash”, while 腦 means “brain”, hence brainwash), a term and psychological concept first used by the People’s Volunteer Army during the Korean War. It may refer to a forcible indoctrination to induce someone to give up basic political, social, or religious beliefs and attitudes and to accept contrasting regimented ideas; or persuasion by propaganda or salesmanship. The term “brainwashing” came into the mainstream English language after Western media sources first utilized the term to describe the attitudes of POWs returning from the Korean War.[1]

 

**for full list, visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_English_words_of_Chinese_origin

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amazing travel moments

1. kayaking amongst icebergs in alaska, saw american bald eagles catching salmons

2. flying over grand canyon in helicopter

3. flying over new york city skyline at night

 

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upcoming blogs

I wish sometime I could just think a blog instead of write a blog… cause i think about what to write on my blog all the time, but never get around to doing it…. if you could have your cellphone hooked up to your thoughts somehow, and just record those thoughts and post on wordpress automatically that would be awesome… but anyways… here are the 3 blogs i’ve been thinking about writing..

1. damn.. i have already forgotten the first thing I wanted to blog about… that’s why i’m writing the blog post, because i know i’d forget about them soon….

2. the concept of random and calculablility. as we all know… it’s impossible for a computer program of this day to generate a true random, it’s usually some complicated algorithm. So that go me thinking, is there a real random in life? It’s probably just a calculation down to the infinitely precise calculation… so for example.. the way the coin was made (one side heavier), the habit of your toss, wind factor, your condition at the moment of the toss… etc… if we have all the factors, then we can calculate precisely if your next coin toss is going to be heads or tails, it’s no longer a true random. We like to label things we are incapable of calculating as random, or supernatural…

3. guys and sweet tooth: generally girls are more known to have sweet tooth.. but of all the men i have encountered it’s actually quite the opposite.. most men i’ve met have more of a sweet tooth than me… so that says either the research/stereotype is wrong… or something is up with men these days…. XD http://www.divinecaroline.com/self/wellness/why-do-women-love-sugar-truth-about-your-sweet-tooth

**and blogs on how to handle less productive colleagues at work… and dealing with remote teams…

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English covers of Chinese songs part 3

This is an oldie! Can’t believe a chinese composer wrote a hit song in America way back in the 1940’s.

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