scene: trying to get permission from my dad to get a lip piercing
me: heyyy so i wanted to ask you something
me: i was wondering if i could get a lip piercing…i’ve wanted one for a couple years and i’ve thought about it and i really want one
dad: well…do you want halabujee (grandpa) to see your cow ring face and get seizure and die?
So recently, one of my sisters friends came over to eat dinner with us. Mum puts two plates of lettuce on the table.
Friend: What’s the difference?
Dad: If you wanna die, you eat dis one. If you dont wanna die, you eat dis one.
Me: He means diet.