jokes on court

funny excerpt from a judge’s blog
———————-
From Michael R. Ross of Houston (Tribble and Sanders),
these excerpts from his deposition of the plaintiff — who claimed he
was injured when a freight elevator door hit him on the neck.

Q. Before the incident in January of 1999, have you ever been injured?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. How were you injured?

A. I got knocked off a bar stool by a car one time.

Q. By a car?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. What, did it crash into the bar?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. Which bar was that?

A. The Red Door Lounge.

Q. Well, that’s a different experience than many of us have had.

Mr. Stiles: I have felt that way a few times.

***

Q. Have you had any other injuries?

A. Been stabbed twice.

Q. When did that happen?

A. ’95, ’96, probably.

Q. And where did that happen?

A. New Orleans.

Q. New Orleans. And how did that happen?

A. My wife stabbed me. Well, she wasn’t my wife the first time. The second time she was.

Q. Oh.

A. I didn’t learn.

Q. You were stabbed on two different occasions, is that correct?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. So, your wife — well, Charlene stabbed you with a knife the first time in the left arm.

A. The leg.

Q. The first time, the first time you were stabbed, Charlene stabbed you in the left thigh; is that correct?

A. Right.

Q. And she wasn’t your wife at the time; is that correct?

A. No. sir.

Q. And then after you all were married, she stabbed you in the left arm; is that correct?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. What kind of knife did she use?

A. A butcher knife.

Q. Does she have a temper, this lady?

A. Whew, yes sir.
***

Q. Did your neck ever hurt you before January 1999?

A. No, sir.

Mr. Stiles: Sounds like that wife was a pain in the neck.

Couldn’t let it go.

===================
source: http://www.texasbar.com/saywhat/weblog/
not all of it is that funny though, but this
entire page is pretty funny http://www.texasbar.com/saywhat/weblog/2007_09_01_archive.html

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About m0untainmist

I'm awesome ;-) j/k...
This entry was posted in English, jokes. Bookmark the permalink.

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